We’ve all been there. You’re working hard to make better decisions with your nutrition. You’re meal prepping, feeling great and following a plan that is nutrient dense and works really well for you. Then, boom … your first social gathering with friends and/or family.
When you approach social gatherings on a specific plan, there tend to be three types of people:
The Supporter
They back you 100% and may even help you by preparing food at a social gathering specifically for the plan you’re following. They encourage you to stay focused and keep going. This doesn’t mean they always agree with whatever it is you’re doing, but they understand that it means a lot to you and they show their support in various ways.
The Secretly Guilty
They may or may not understand your desire to overhaul your old lifestyle. They potentially have some “root cause” stuff going on, where it’s hard to accept that you’re doing something great for yourself. Because they aren’t ready and/or willing to make the changes they feel deep down they should, they instead pressure you to join them in whatever they’re doing that goes against the plan you’re following so they don’t feel alone. They don’t realize they are doing this, which is why they still mean well.
The Somewhere In Between
They don’t fully support what you’re doing, but they also don’t put on a crazy amount of pressure. They make little comments here and there and may briefly try to encourage you to go off-plan, but at the end of the day they say what they have to say and then they’re done.
Does this mean you just never spend time with friends and family that don’t support your healthy lifestyle pursuits? NOT. AT. ALL. What IS important, is to understand where the pressure comes from and learning how to handle it. At the end of the day they do love you and want to see you succeed.
Here are five ways to navigate the situation with grace. Sure some feelings may still be hurt, but at least you’ll feel confident that you handled things as best you could. After all, this is YOUR journey to own and no one else’s.
1. Remind people this is a choice; not an obligation.
You’ll likely hear things like “Why are you so restrictive?” when you’re trying a new plan or even following the same plan for years and years. This is because the theory of moderation is deeply embedded in our culture. Over the years, however, it has become non-existant because people simply don’t know how to moderate anymore (especially when eating a lot of processed food, since it’s literally designed to be over consumed). Many people actually do well when they eliminate their food “triggers”. They gain a newfound sense of freedom because they aren’t shackled down by constant and unrelenting cravings. The best rebuttal is to remind people that you are choosing to eat a certain way (because you are), not being forced.
2. Keep an “emergency preparedness” kit on hand.
This is essential! There’s nothing worse when you’ve got low blood sugar and HANGRY is setting in. These moments usually spell disaster for a healthy lifestyle. Aim to keep a few items on hand to quell hunger when you find yourself in unplanned scenarios. The best part is, when you’re offered something you don’t want to have, you can simply say “Thank you, but I’ve got some snacks to keep me going” instead of having to over explain why you can or can’t have something.
3. Remind people that you would appreciate their support!
Seriously, please make sure to do this. Remember when we said above that your loved ones mean well? We meant that. So don’t be afraid to be vocal and let them know that instead of pressure you would appreciate their support. Sometimes all they need is a reminder.
4. Get them involved.
Encourage friends and family to join you, even if it’s in small ways that make a big impact. There is nothing better than the gift of health, and sharing it with people you love.
5. Don’t take it personal.
Hopefully you have some more insight after reading this post, so that you realize you don’t need to take things personally when people just don’t “get it”. It is not your job to make them get it, this will only drive you crazy. Just like you seek their support and understanding, try to be understanding of where they are coming from and remember to keep on rocking your journey regardless.
Have you ever felt like you were pressured to make decisions that didn’t align with your goals? Did this post resonate with you? Share with us in the comments!
Until Next Time,
Inspired Wellness
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13 Comments
My husband brought home cupcakes Friday night as I am preparing to start the cleanse on Monday. I think he just didn’t think about it but we did have a talk about no more in the future and he did agree. Admittedly though I did eat a cupcake that night and it was delicious but the rest are off limits. 🙂
I have a few of each and it can be hard to be around some people while trying to eat healthy. I love your suggestions, especially having your own snacks so you don’t get tempted to stray.
My stepmother is a down home cooker and eater & doesn’t believe this is sustainable because you’re “not supposed to eat that way.” She isn’t unhealthy, but is a believer in the traditional ingredients provided at the he store (white flour and sugars). My stepsister follows a very similar eating style to the Cleanse and know she supports me. My stepmother supports me being healthy, just has strong opinions on how it’s done. 🙂
Just remember, it’s not your job nor is it at all satisfying to try and convince everyone else. People get VERY attached to “their” way of doing things and would rather feel a little blah than to change it up … and that’s okay! That’s just where they are on their journey at that moment in time. Your responsibility is to you and your longterm health and feeling your best!
I had to practice some of these suggestion today actually..#3 in particular. I work at college so I am around young people all day. My staff consist of 11 student assistants which are mainly between the ages of 19-25. They eat junk food all the time lol! I was once a young college student so I know the struggle. Today, I had to be firm and let them know that I needed their support in staying true to this cleanse so don’t offer me cookies, donuts, etc. They were receptive and some decided they wanted to clean up their eating also 🙂
Some of my co-workers are always sharing their junk food with everyone, but are excited that I’m doing the cleanse! Bringing my own meals and snacks help me stay on track when there is junk food around me.
I live by myself so not afraid of this one.
I don’t like the feeling I get when I say I “can’t” eat something, too oppressive. I prefer saying I “don’t” eat that or “I’d rather have” something else. Better sense of freedom when I feel like it’s my choice!
Yes, this:
” Over the years, however, it has become non-existant because people simply don’t know how to moderate anymore (especially when eating a lot of processed food, since it’s literally designed to be over consumed). ”
Also, i thank my kids for always watching me. I have to lead by example, even when there’s no support around.
Social situations were always the worst the last time I attempted a healthier lifestyle – even after explaining it to people, my friends at the time were just too immature to understand or fully support. They inadvertently pressured me and made going out with them uncomfortable. With time comes maturity … I hope!
I definitely have people like these around me. Thanks for the tips ?
I think being prepared will help me get through these moments.
I was only in prep week and have already been told: “I am so sorry you are doing this to yourself! ” Dang! Yet, this will not steer me off track!